Recently I realized, that whenever I need to vent, or find something negative about life, I blog.
I never blog or write about my happy thoughts, my happy place, and that’s why I’ve been out of action for so long. I’ve been in what I call my happy space. With bursts of irritation and a lot of moodiness, I have been in a constant state of satisfaction.
Life is good now. I have a great internship at a reputed company, I’m spending the summer in NYC (exciting enough?!), I am surrounded by great people (for the most part). Moreover, my family is visiting from home, and I am being treated to many meals in NYC’s many food heavens. Can life get any more comfortable?
But this post will be incomplete if I don’t grumble about atleast an aspect of my life. So, here goes…
I’m not unhappy about anything. But one thing I definitely am is confused. About people, about the direction I want my life to take, about what I expect from myself and those around me.
For starters, I have realized that some relationships that I was dearly holding on to, are not those I thought they would be. I have always dedicated myself to people, and given time to nurture relationships, but somehow I feel like I have been cheated in some ways. College is meant to be fun, exciting and a place to meet some of your best friends. I thought I had all that and more, but as time goes by I realize that sometimes things you think are over and above the pettiness of time, convenience and distance, are actually not. It is very difficult to find people who appreciate and love you no matter what, but even if you have a handful of those, I would say it is more than enough.
As for my life, I am confused as to which career path is my true calling. I want to make sure I am making the right decision. So here is what I’ve decided to do- try everything my heart desires and work toward it all- then leave it to fate. I am not a foolish believer that fate determines your future, but once you have tried all possibilities, I can let fate take its course and make a decision for me then. Over thinking didn’t help me, now I’m about to try a new route and let you all know